Tips for Aspiring Authors That Don't Have to Do With Writing

Cait Yaga
May 6
9 min read

Updated: May 7

Writing is hard. Anyone who tells you otherwise is either a liar or made of pure luck. You’re likely thinking, I already know this; everyone says writing is hard. But it’s not just the writing.

The hardest part comes after the book is finished. It's the waiting for responses, receiving rejection after rejection after rejection (if you receive a response at all), the grieving as you slide your unwanted novel into a drawer for another day, and the picking yourself up again. Despite all the odds. Despite all the noes. Despite the weeks, months, and years that have passed without a single yes.

How do you push through? How do you maintain your courage? How do you avoid rage-quitting?

1. Grow a thick skin.

Submitting (and sharing) your work means receiving rejections. Even sharing your work with friends and family could result in the dreaded — Oh, this is what you've been working on? Why is it so sad? Is it finished, or... I guess it’s just not for me.

You may be fresh-faced and bright-eyed. I can handle a few rejections! When I first started submitting, when my skin was smooth and delicate, I felt that same way. A few rejections are nothing!

And listen, for some authors, a few noes are all you’ll get. Or, if you’re like me, you will have an email folder with 93 rejections (and growing). Mine span from 2017-2026 and consist of queries for three separate novels, but this number does not include my rejections from contests, anthologies, and poetry collections.

I received another rejection last week and two more today. These ones hurt especially. I worked incredibly hard on these pieces. I poured my heart and soul into them, tailored them specifically to the contests.

So, what did I do?

I cried. I walked around my yard. I let myself feel the weight of yet another no, to grieve another door closed.

And then I took a deep breath, made an iced coffee, sat down, and kept writing. I have been doing this routine for 13 years.

Thirteen years.

I have been writing for much longer than that.

I could have given up so many times (and believe me, I have debated it). But the truth is, if I give up, I also give up any chance of success. And for me, that is more devastating than a no.

So, I allow myself to hurt, allow my skin to thicken, remind myself that everything happens for a reason, and trust that my path is unfolding in front of me even when I cannot see the next stepping stone.

One day, I will get my yes, and all the past rejections will no longer matter.

But if I give up, I will never receive that yes. I’ll just have an email folder full of rejections that will haunt me for all my days.

Thicken your skin so that when the going gets tough, you keep going.

2. Build your connections.

Yes. Even in an industry brimming with introverts and the socially awkward, connections are key.

I have autism, ADHD, and severe social anxiety. When I was working as a proposal specialist, they continuously pushed me towards business development or management. I continuously said no. Going to business meetings, networking with new and existing clients, and spending the day on a golf course sounded horrendous to me. Needless to say, when other authors/editors/publishers would talk about the importance of networking, I would cross my fingers and hope to find my way without the dreaded social aspect.

Alas.

Three years ago, I returned to university because my career was burning me out faster than my body could handle. When I enrolled in my program (Bachelor of Communications), I did not know that several of my professors would be deeply ingrained in the local (and in some cases, international) publishing scene. I did not know there would be editors, published authors, and employees of local presses. When I found out that one of my professors was the president of a press, I set up office hours with her (even though I was trembling and shaking and terrified because what if she didn’t like me?).

Guess what?

She did. Not only that, but she has become a mentor in writing, editing, and publishing. And she’s not the only one.

That positive interaction gave me the courage to try again, and again, and again. To build my network and ask the people who were doing what I wanted to do, how they did it, and how to get there. These connections blossomed and curled outward, connecting me with people outside of the university, too.

I know that not everyone can go back to school. I am extremely lucky for this opportunity. However, if there is a professor you want to meet with, it is worth reaching out, even if you are not their student. Meet up with the writers in residence at your local libraries. Go to literary festivals, conferences, webinars, and book launches. If you feel a pull to someone, go talk to them. Not all connections will be fruitful, but they are all important. You never know who knows who, or who has a well of knowledge they are bursting to share.

For example, when I was at a conference in Alberta, I took a masterclass with an author whose work I really enjoy. I spoke to him after the class and asked if he had a few minutes to chat. He said yes. So, we grabbed a coffee and chatted about writing, publishing and agenting. He was incredibly kind. And he’s not the only one.

I reached out to an award-winning poet to ask if she would meet for coffee. Later, she held a small workshop at the university that I attended. We spoke more after the workshop, and she agreed to review several of my poems and provide me with feedback. The feedback she provided was invaluable to my poetry writing career, and I will be forever grateful.

3. Get out there and volunteer.

We are all busy. I know. And volunteering just adds to that hustle. But if you want to get to know people and have people get to know you, volunteering is a great way to do so. When I hear someone talking about a literary event/festival/launch, I volunteer my services. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know. Here’s my contact info. Nine times out of ten, it works. You can also look for postings requesting volunteers. But if your time is limited, sometimes the previous option is more realistic.

One of my volunteer opportunities (which I received by offering to help) was a one-month, remote role responding to emails, setting aside tickets for contributors, and ensuring that festival attendees could reserve the tickets to limited events pre-launch of tickets. While they couldn’t afford to pay me, I did receive two free passes to the festival. But more importantly, I received experience, and I got to help in an area that is incredibly near and dear to my heart.

4. Find someone who encourages you.

Not everyone can rely on their parents or siblings to encourage and support them, and that’s okay. It’s much more common than you may think. And not every friend will be able to provide you with the encouragement or support you need.

I’m not saying go find someone who will constantly pump up your tires and feed you lies. I’m talking about someone who will always be honest with you, who will hold your hand when you don’t believe in yourself, when you receive those rejections, and you debate quitting. The person who will hurt with you, who won’t hurry your grieving, but also, who will not let you stop. These people are so incredibly crucial on this journey.

Writing is hard, and it is lonely. Unless you are an incredibly self-driven individual, you will need this person. They don’t need to be your editor; they don’t even need to read your work. They just need to believe in you when you don’t.

5. Stay distracted.

When you do start submitting, stay distracted. If you’re like me, when you first start submitting, you’ll be refreshing your email inbox every five minutes, unable to sleep for days until the adrenaline wears off, and unable to concentrate on anything other than maybe now, maybe now, maybe now.

The best way to beat this overwhelming (and unproductive) pattern is to stay distracted.

Start working on another project. Read that book you’ve been putting off. Go to a book launch and envision yourself in their position one day.

Personally, working on another project is the best way to beat the freeze, because even if you receive noes, you’re already working on a new project, which, when finished, gives you the opportunity to submit all over again. That means that even if your first work isn’t successful, when the rejections stop, and you have no one else to query, you can start the process again with your new project.

6. Pay attention to the wording.

I have received 93 rejections on my queries. Of those, four have been positive. Wait, how can a rejection be positive?

“…I hope that you’ll consider me again in the future.”

“…I always welcome the chance to consider your next project.”

“…I’m always open to receiving new projects from you.”

“…I hope you’ll consider me again for your next work of art.”

It took a meeting with a fellow author and retired publisher for me to accept that these were good things. I thought they were just being nice.

Silly, silly me.

No agent will ever, ever, request or encourage future submissions from a writer unless they mean it.

They get thousands of submissions a day. Thousands. If they say something along those lines ^, THIS IS A GOOD THING. Save those in another folder. Mark down their information. You can submit to them when you’ve got something new ready, with the added benefit of reminding them they were interested in seeing more work from you.

7. Take every opportunity to learn.

Pitch sessions at a conference? Attend. Even if the agent doesn’t request a full manuscript, they now know who you are.

Slush sessions? Put in your work! Even if it doesn’t get read all the way through, the feedback you will gain from the panel is exponential, not to mention the feedback they give to others that you can note for yourself, too. And if they do read all the way through, you might just end up with a manuscript request (I know I did).

This doesn’t mean you inundate yourself with workshops, books on how to write, conferences, festivals — you need to first and foremost write. But when the right opportunities arise, take them.

8. Read everything.

How can you learn a sport if you’ve never watched someone else play it? How can you learn the piano if you don’t read the music of those who came before? If you don’t listen to it?

You would be amazed at the number of writers who don’t read. You NEED TO READ. Constantly. Everything. Every genre. Every single word you read will make you a better writer just by consumption.

Read read read read and never stop.

Besides, I’ve always thought it a bit strange for writers to expect their book to be read when they don’t even read themselves.

9. Don't use AI.

But AI is taking over, and if we don't get on board, we'll be left behind... First, if everyone stopped acting and talking this way and just didn't use AI, eventually, AI would lose its power. I mean, just look at Walmart’s decision to remove the self-checkouts and bring back cashiers.

Using AI is shooting yourself in the foot. Not only is there the potential for a negative impact on your reputation, but it also directly impacts your skills.

You are only as good as you are without technology.

Learn to write without AI prompts, without "magic rewrite." Because writing is an individual process, a purely human process, and that is what makes it timeless. Don't remove your heart, your soul, from your words by relying on an artificial brain. You have your own. And it's beautiful and magical, and you should be using it and growing your skill.

10. Remember, the worst they can do is say no.

My brother said this to me when I was a high school student debating entering Canadian Idol (which I didn’t end up doing). “The worst they can do is say no.” And in my youth, those words were life-changing.

They have followed me through every scary moment of my life since, every moment where I have put myself on the line, where I have risked rejection.

The worst they can do is say no.

Which, in turn, means the best they can do is say YES.

That trade-off is worth it for me every time. It’s what keeps me going, what gives me the courage to submit my work even when everyone else has said no.

Because one day, I will get that yes. And every single rejection, every minute of waiting and writing and waiting, will have been worth it.

So, yes. Writing is hard. Waiting is hard. Rejections are hard.

But for those of us who cannot do anything but write, to never know would be hardest of all.